


we want us like everything else

by shokubeni



Series: ivory&black [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Pre-Battle of Hogwarts, Unbreakable Vow (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 18:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17872271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shokubeni/pseuds/shokubeni
Summary: the world is ending, theo is going to be thrown into things he doesn't want to do, but blaise is ready to promise him he will be there no matter what.





	we want us like everything else

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't write in such a long time and this was word vomit i did at 1am.  
> everything, included the title, it's heavily inspired by the song "the end of the world" by the cure which i recommend you listen to if you want.
> 
> usually i think theo is able to walk away from the fact he has to take the mark, but i wanted to explore a world in where he had to.

“why you don't understand.” theo breathed out, feeling as aggravated as his voice was giving away. “that is the end of the world.”

and blaise blinked up at him, surprised, trying to soak into the words of the younger, because it didn't sound like theodore nott at all. theo who has lived through hell and back wasn't prone to dramatics, he was sensitive, wary of the world, he was cautious, but he wasn't someone quick to panic and dramatics, he was a plotter, he was a strategist.

but the theodore nott in front of him, all white knuckles and shivering limbs and watery eyes, wasn't being any of those things. he was terrified and he was freaking out, and the fact itself was such a novelty, blaise zabini didn't know what to do.

“caro…” he took a step closer, his voice effortlessly sultry, effortlessly inviting. and at any given situation, it would have helped to calm theo down, to send him memories of blood oranges and sweet wine in the beaches of the south of france, of promises sealed through kisses against patches of scarred pale skin, of confidence shared in whispers over piles and piles of ancient parchments. 

but it wasn't working this time.  
blaise wasn't able to push through the panic soaking every inch of theo’s body, to break the curse his lover seemed to be immersed in. 

“don't caro me!” theo hissed, and the first tear rolled down his cheek like a translucent pearl, leaving a trace in its aftermath, disappearing under his chin. “it's the truth. it's the fucking truth!” the rage in theo’s voice was so surprising, blaise was completely taken aback by it. it was like looking at him for the very first time, hearing him for the very first time. this is what war, what pain and fear, did to someone you cherished so deeply. “my father is out of azkaban, i will have to take the dark mark, i will have to fight by voldemort’s side.” each word seemed to be followed by a bigger wave of panic, and by then, blaise didn't know how theo’s legs were holding him up. “e-everything is in shambles. e-everything is… and i-i will...” he finally reached a breaking point, a sob shaking his entire body, and blaise rushed to his side before he would collapse on the floor like a ragged doll.

he held him dearly, close, absorbing the sobs and the shudders of magic that came from his body, strong hands holding him up and making sure they were both as comfortable as they could be, even if kneeling on the floor, even if theo was doubled over himself with a posture that wasn't gracious or good for his back, as it wasn't the desperate wailing sounds tearing up his throat. 

blaise allowed theo to cry out all his frustration, his fear and his panic. he let him unleash his demons, all the things he knew he was feeling but he didn't dare to say out loud because everything and everyone was a newfound enemy between four walls when a war was about to crash and burn everything built around them, no matter how much they might despise it. he didn't say anything, knowing there wasn't anything theo wanted to hear, and knowing that probably, there was no word of reassurance that could be sincere. 

theo, in the end, was right.  
it _was_ the bloody end of the world.  
at least, it was the end of the world as they have always lived in.  
and the idea of their world shifting, being destroyed, even if to be rebuilt into something better, lighter, was unbelievable for blaise.

the consequences of it were unimaginable.  
the idea of theo having to take sides of a war neither of them wanted, of having to be marked for a cause none of them believed in, was the worst case scenario, the worst and the most scary thing of their world ending.

it was the end of the world.  
and they were just two poor sods caught in the middle of it.

if everything wasn't so tense, and so awfully sad, blaise would have laughed. but he couldn't.  
because it was true it was the end of the world, and they were caught in the middle of it, but he could really love theo more than he did, in a world where it never was expected to happen, and that should be enough for tracing a plan, an escaping line. 

and there wasn't a lot blaise couldn't offer, because theo was terrified and angry and sad and wrapped in an anxiety as big as all the magic he can keep inside his body, and blaise was fed up and melodramatic and unable to use as much resources as he wanted to use, but the two of them knew that all the things theo had listed, were final, as fixed as the sun going up every day in the sky.

it was the end of the world.  
theo’s father was out of azkaban.  
he was going to be forced to take the dark mark.  
he was going to fight at the war by voldemort’s side.

but there was another thing as fixed as their destiny and it was that they couldn't love each other more than they did, and they were going to find each other, after the war, after the end of the fucking world. 

“theo, listen to me.” blaise started, calloused and rough fingers, skilled from flying, moved to wipe away the tears collecting underneath theo’s eyes, a smile perfect, still easy, reassuring. “i want to be with you, always.” he whispered, his voice firm. “even if the world is ending, i will go back to you and find you in the new world. i promise, i bloody promise, theo. i  _ vow _ to you, do you understand? i will  _ vow _ .”

theo looked at him like he was talking in parseltongue, his mouth agape, as if he was trying to really understand what blaise was saying to him, what he was implying, because those were heavy words, not to be taking slightly, even at the doors of the world ending. but before he could say anything else, blaise started to speak again.

“do you trust me? do you trust us enough?” and the heaviness of the question fell on theo’s chest like the weight of a tomb, but if the world was ending and he was going to die anyway, he would rather do it with a binding promise to blaise instead.

blaise smiled, and pressed his lips into theo’s chapped ones into a bruising kiss.

 

the hardest part about their promise was to find a bonder, someone who would help to cast the spell for them. draco _laughed_ at them, calling them crazy, and telling them he wasn't going to shoulder the responsibility of such a stupid and rushed unbreakable vow. pansy refused as well, saying she wasn't going to _sign_ a death sentence, whether or not they survived the actual war. daphne seemed _horrified_ at the idea of them making an unbreakable vow, millicent _snorted_ and warned them about not being hopelessly romantics and bloody idiots just because they were thrown into a war...

the bonder came from the place both of them were expecting the less, by the hand of astoria greengrass. she said she wasn't completely sure if this was the greatest of the ideas, but that she wasn't going to interfere into the desire of the two of them, if it was what the both truly wanted.

(“ _ it should be so thrilling, shouldn't it? _ ” she would whisper, giddy, over a cup of tea to theodore nott a few days before her agreement. “ _ to have someone committing to you like that, words can't really describe it. _ ” 

and they didn't, so theo didn't say anything, he just feel the heat expanding through his body like a flame.)

a month before the battle of hogwarts theodore nott and blaise zabini made an unbreakable vow.  
it was week after theodore nott was forced to take the dark mark, when he was ambushed and taken by surprise, held down by a hand belonging to a flint and another one by a malfoy and with a wand held by his father, his fate sealed when dark strokes covered scarred skin.

there was no ritual, no fancy dresses, no pompous agreements. there was a lot of silence, and a lot of tears, theo’s hand tugging the hem of his tunic, as to make sure the mark was never going to be exposed, that it was never going to see the light.

when they held each other forearms, theo could feel the warmth seeping through the luxurious and thick fabric of blaise’s clothes, as rivulets of sparkly magic moved around them, sealing their future, as uncertain as it was, forever.

and the words exchanged were simple: “we will never, ever, be apart.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> say hi to me at my [tumblr](https://crvdence.tumblr.com)!


End file.
